"Lord, teach us to pray"

"Lord, teach us to pray" 

 The life of prayer - looking again at our own prayer life, a retreat is a good time to do this. 

Human friendship - the qualities that are important. Four indispensable qualities - give time, have self disclosure, listen and be affectionate. These four qualities carry through to our friendship with God.

Firstly time - if you really are friends with someone, you show this by being delighted to spend time with them. It isn't all time, but sooner or later you have to invest quite a chunk of yourself and your time. It takes courage, because human as we are and trying to make contact with a God we cannot see, we may pass through boredom and emptiness first. Jesus prayed a lot in the Gospels - because, utterly human, he needed to pray to remain in touch with His father's will 
John Paul II warned about "spending so much time on the work of the Lord, you do not spend time with the Lord of the Work. Jesus in Gethsemane. Also the prayer on the Mount, that the prayer changed how he seemed to His disciples. It works the other way too, we look at people differently through the prism of prayer. 

Secondly self disclosure - trusting God enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable, with a person who will never betray our trust. The road to Emmaus - Jesus first as a stranger, then as a person the disciples were glad to have with them, then at the breaking of the bread someone they knew intimately. God passes from being the neighbour over the fence, to the friend in the home - God moving from a third person to a second person, from Him to You. The first thing that we find in silence is that we are loved (Teresa of Avila). Beware of too much formal prayer - remember the conversation between two friends. Sharing both sorrow and joy. 

Thirdly listening - hearing what the other has to say - that's why the silence of a retreat is so important. As Elijah found, in the silence the still small voice of God comes through. Building zones of silence in our lives. How do we listen? In the Living Word, but also in the Bible of everyday life, where God starts to speak to us in the events of everyday life, even in the great difficulties. The Examen at the end of the day shows us the traces we missed - finding all things in God and God in all things.

Last but not least affection - shown to a friend in look, in touch, in word. Jesus as warm and human - saying to his friends "I have longed and longed to eat this meal with you before I suffer" - the language of love. Asking Peter three times 'do you love me' - healing and reassurance.

Have an affectionate dialogue with God. "you know I love you, though I am often distracted and I don't love you often or well enough.'